Love's Forbidden Fruit
by mrsEdwoodcolongrl
Summary: Edward has just fallen in love with the most beautiful, popular and amazing girl…me! But Jacob wants to go out with me too, what do I do? P.S. Bella is dead. R
1. From Pen to Paper

This is my first fanfiction, and I must say, I already think that I am an expert at writing! My husband Edward Cullen agrees that I am really awesome too, so everyone should think so. Read my newest fanfiction and review to tell me how right I am!

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**Love's Forbidden Fruit**

_Chapter One: From Pen to Paper_

Once upon a time Bella was dead, but that's not important at all. So Edward came over to the most beautiful girl in school Sally and told her that he wants her to be his girlfriend but Sallys like no way you freak and Edwards like please please please and she was like no I'm too popular for you and Edward went away crying and started making out with a lamp then Sally saw him and was like why are you doing that and cheating on me and Edwards like no I wasn't cheating on you I was actually cheating on myself and sally was like oh that's so sweet and then like you and your pet raccoon get married and Edward and I get married and we dance on Bellas grave then Jacob shows up and gives Edward a high four instead of a high five cause I don't know maybe Jacob lost one of his fingers or something then he and Edward start fighting over me cause I'm really beautiful and then sallys like no don't fight over me we can all be together and then Edward and Jacob and sally all dance around hand in hand for the next five chapters then Edward starts break-dancing because hes really good at that then we all eat cake and at first Edwards like no the light will make me sparkle but Bellas like no it won't then we eat it anyway and we look around because Bellas supposed to be dead but you never know what will happen next.

So then like Edward and Jacob and I go and jump out of an airplane to see if well sparkle and Edward's like freaking out because he does and he forgot that he was a vampire then he wanted us to become vampires too and at first sally was like no way Edward I don't love you that much and then Edwards like but I love you that much sally so I was like okay Edward than I'll do it and then we ate a pie that we found on the ground and then we forgot about Jacob for a while until we got married again and we ran into bella and shes like get away from my man sally and I was like Edwards not your man hes my man because I'm way prettier than you are then Bellas like oh yeah you are sorry I must have forgotten and then she falls in love with me too then the whole rest of the world falls in love with me and Edward starts fighting them off on a giant building cause he wants me all to himself but then I'm like no Edward what if you ruin your face and stuff and Edwards like oh yeah sally you are so smart you should go to Harvard or something and I was like wow Edward that is like the nicest thing that you've ever said to me and it's so so true and then we fell back in love again and I ate a cheese sandwich that had the history of the universe inside of it and it tasted so good!

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**Author's Note:**

So what did you think? Wasn't it the best story that you've ever read? I think so!

Yeah, I know you guys really want me to update soon but first I have to plan my wedding to Edward Cullen so you are gonna have to wait for a few hours maybe. Is that cool for everyone?

R&R my story guys, I won't continue writing this lovely story until I get at least half of a review and remember to fav me cause I know you can't wait to press that button!


	2. The White Rose Petal

Hey! I'm back from my wedding guys! So like Edward Cullen and I had a fabulous wedding except that he bit me and now I'm a vampire, but I'm still cute so I guess it doesn't really matter. ; D

Anyways, since I know that you all loved my story, I thought that I'd post a little early this week-aren't I just the nicest person ever? So, you should all like thank me by giving this story even more awesome reviews about how great it is!

Now, I know that there have been some complaints that my story wasn't praised enough for its brilliance, but don't worry, I've totally got it covered. So yeah, here's chapter two!

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_Chapter Two: The White Rose Petal_

Edward and Jacob were fighting over who would take me to the prom then I was like no guys don't fight over me you can both take me but then Edwards like no I don't want to share you cause you are the best thing that ever happened to me and then Jacob was like no sally you are the best thing that ever happened to me so after I finished my sandwich I decided to just take both of them to the prom so all three of us went then you went over to the table in the back of the room and drank some of the fruit punch but you were like no that is not fruit punch and sally was like yes it is and then you were like okay sally since you are so awesome I will believe you and drink it and sally was like well duh then Bella showed up and wanted to have like a dancing competition but I had already won a dancing competition earlier that evening plus I thought that Bella was supposed to be dead anyways so then like Edward and Jacob started being ninjas and they ate butter without any bread and I was like guys what are you doing and they were like but sally butter is the source of all magic and I was like okay and then we started shooting lightning rays out of our punch glasses it was totally awesome but I bet you didn't know that cause you weren't even there but don't blame me cause you never responded to my tweets so its like all your fault anyways and it tasted like unicorns.

Then all of a sudden some evil guy from one of the books showed up and tried to steal Bella but nobody really cared cause like its Bella you know so then Jacob and Edward completely ignored him and they continued dancing with sally and she has so much fun that she forgot that she had to be home by midnight or else shed like totally lose her shoes so she told Jacob and Edward not to wait for her but of course they always will cause shes the greatest person that they ever met so then sally ran back to her house and she run into the evil guy again but she wasn't scared because she knew his one true weakness and she also knew that he had a crush on her so it was totally cool so then the evil guy was like hey sally do you want to go out with me and sallys like no and then the evil guy is like but please and sallys like okay as long as I get to pick the restaurant and then the evil guy is like okay sally whatever you want and then they go to the place and Edward and Jacob follow them there and they like get into a death match for my heart and like they all do really well cause they all love me but I was already married to Edward and Bella was dead so there was pretty much no one who could beat Edward cause hes my man and he like loves me so much so like Edward won and sally was really happy but then Jacob kidnapped Edward and sally and took him to the forest to show them his toenail collection. Edward wasn't too impressed but sally loved it cause its Jacob you know and hes so awesome and everyone loves sally I mean wouldn't you?

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**Author's Note:**

I told you guys everyone loved me cause I'm like the most awesome person ever!

So yeah, that's like the second chapter of my amazing masterpiece, I knew that you guys would like it. Now you have to add it to your favs and review me some more if you want me to keep on updating (and I know that you do!)

Remember, I won't post the next amazing chapter until I get more reviews so you better tell me how wonderful this story is! I know you want to, so press that button!


	3. Jacob's Secret

Did I not tell you guys that my story was awesome? The reviews kept on piling in! Am I not the greatest?

Anyways, I hope you guys are ready for the best chapter of my awesome twilight fanfiction; cause like it took me all of last night to write this masterpiece. It stars one of my fav songs (well of the ones that aren't written by me that is) and I know you guys will love it! I had to censor some of the words of the song though, since I know a lot of my readers are children, so I know you won't mind.

Oh, and just so you know, Edward and I did get married yesterday and it was like the most wonderful thing ever and everyone was so jealous of me, cause I looked like a princess and I was really beautiful, but try not to be jealous okay?

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_Chapter Three: Jacob's Secret_

Jacob and sally has just gotten back from the forest where Jacob showed her his toenail collection and sally loved it and she was like Jacob you are so awesome and Jacob was like I know but then Edward overheard them and he was like super jealous but I was like Edward don't be jealous I still like you too but then Edward was like no you don't you only like Jacob but then I was like no that's not true I like you too but sometimes you have problems and then he's like okay maybe I do I'm going to rehab but then I was like no Edward don't do that they'll make you eat corn muffins and you'll sparkle but then Edwards like no they won't and I'll sparkle with or without you and then I was like Edward that is so sweet and then we ran out of the forest and began to frolic and it was awesome but then the evil guy came back and saw us and he was like don't be like that Bella but sally was like eww I'm not Bella cause she is gross and I am not and he's like oh yeah you're right I'm sorry and sally was like that's okay let's go out for some burritos and he's like awesome and so we did and they were great!

_Maybe i need some (beep)  
or maybe just need some (beep)  
I got a sick (beep)  
I'm seein it in my (beep)  
I'm (beep)down every (beep)  
I'm makin those (beep)calls  
I'm (beep) up all night hopin (beep) my (beep)against the (beep)_

After we finished our burritos Jacob Edward and the evil guy decided that they all wanted to take sally to a carnival but she was like who's going to pay for the tickets and they were like don't worry sally you'll definitely get in with your good looks and sally's like of course I will you are the sweetest person ever and then I started holding the evil guy's hand and he was like I love you sally and I was like eww I already have a husband you creep and I slapped him across the face and then he went over to the nearest computer store bought a camera and took a picture of his face he sold it on the internet for two thousand dollars because everyone like totally worships sally there no joke!

_what you got (beep), is hard to (beep)  
I (beep)about it all the (beep)  
I'm all (beep)out my (beep) is (beep)  
I just cant (beep)you (beep) my (beep)!_

Anyways then Jacob and Edward and sally went to the carnival and Edward and Jacob started fighting over who would get to sit next to me on the roller coaster but then sally was like no don't fight over me even though I am the greatest person that ever lived and they were like okay we won't but you're just so awesome sally and I was like yes I know that I am thanks for noticing so then Edward went to go and get me some popcorn and Jacob and sally went on the roller coaster and Jacob was like sally I have to tell you something and sally was like what Jacob tell me and he was okay as long as you promise not to laugh at me and sally's like okay I like totally won't laugh at you because I'm sally and he's like okay I have to tell you a secret and it will shock you and sally was like why and Jacob sighed and was like because I love you sally and I was the one that killed bella then sally was like who's bella and all was well cause like nobody liked her anyway!

_because your (beep)your (beep) your (beep) is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)  
I said your (beep) your (beep)your (beep)is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)_

Sally and Jacob got off of the roller coaster and Edward was there waiting for him and he was like so happy when he saw sally but Jacob wasn't happy that Edward was happy but Edward was definitely happy that sally was happy because sally is just such an awesome character and I made her up all by myself with the help of my psychiatrist then Edward was like sally you are so awesome and sally was like I know I'm awesome Edward you don't have to tell me that for eleven more paragraphs but he was like of course I do not be modest and he totally wasn't being modest because sally changed the definition of the word and now it means that he was being a total loser which of course Edward Cullen would never be ever ever ever ever NEVER! Deal with it Bella!

_wont (beep)to any (beep)  
(beep) tellin me (beep) should think (beep)  
but (beep) into my own (beep), im (beep)its a (beep)  
my (beep)think ive gone (beep)  
my (beep)gettin kinda (beep)  
My (beep)is gonna be (beep)if i (beep)it up like a (beep) sick crack (beep)_

So Edward and Jacob both decided to walk sally home after the carnival and she was like so happy because finally someone was going to see her with two cute guys maybe even that girl that she absolutely hates that lives next door to her and like to eat the caps off of water bottles but she wasn't outside and sally was like really sad because she wanted her to be outside for like her whole entire life and that was like fifteen thousand eleven point two years ago and that's a lot to put in the record book but then Edward ate the record book because it reminded him of his grandma and that's a part of his past that he doesn't want to go back to because that was before he met sally and nothing in the universe happened before anyone met sally. NOTHING!

_what you got (beep), is hard to (beep)  
I (beep)about it all the (beep)  
I'm all (beep)out my (beep) is (beep)  
I just cant (beep)you (beep) my (beep)!_

When Jacob and Edward and sally got to sally's front door they started to cry because the most awesome person in the universe was leaving and like they didn't have a camera to take pictures of this moment was they could remember it forever so sally let them break into her neighbor's house and steal one from their safe and they did and they were like so happy that they started to do the Edward Cullen happy dance but then they stopped because that is copyrighted and strictly confidential.

_because your (beep)your (beep) your (beep) is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)  
I said your (beep) your (beep)your (beep)is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)_

Sally finally stepped inside of her house but then she realized that she couldn't live without people constantly being with her and telling her how awesome she is so she decided to go outside with Jacob and Edward and give them a hug but then Edward was like don't hug me or I'll sparkle but then sally was like no you won't sparkle Edward cause you only sparkle at night and Edward was like oh yeah sally I forgot you are so smart let's get married then sally was like okay and then we got married again even though I wasn't wearing a hat and you know how I feel about hats on my head!

_I dont (beep) what people(beep)  
the (beep) is worth the (beep) i (beep)  
I get so (beep)when (beep)with (beep)  
but (beep)and (beep) you when you (beep)_

Darkness filled the sky as Jacob left and disappeared into the forest sally was totally going to say goodbye to him but she didn't really feel like talking at that particular moment because she was getting married and Edward forgot to get the mayonnaise and she was so angry at him that she started to shoot fire out of her eyes and eat the mailman but he wasn't that delicious so totally don't worry about it.

_(beep), so I got a (beep)  
do you (beep) have a slumber (beep) in my (beep)?  
do I (beep) your (beep)beat like an (beep)  
is my(beep)your (beep)? your (beep)?  
(beep), your (beep)?  
(beep), your (beep)?  
Is my (beep) your (beep)?_

Sally didn't know that she was so awesome until everyone at her wedding told her that she was then she was like oh stop I'm not that awesome and everyone's like yes you are and she's like of course I am you people aren't as awesome as me and they totally agreed I mean wouldn't you?

_because your (beep)your (beep) your (beep) is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)  
I said your (beep) your (beep)your (beep)is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)_

The next day Jacob came back and he was looking really sad and sally was like what's wrong and he's like I love you sally and sally's like what's wrong with that and he's like nothing and then sally was like okay then let's get married and eat candy and Jacob was like I can't do that sally and I was like why not and he was like because I'm allergic to chocolate! -dun dun DUH! I bet you didn't see that plot twist coming!

_because your (beep)your (beep) your (beep) is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)  
I said your (beep) your (beep)your (beep)is my (beep)  
your (beep) your (beep) your (beep)_

Anyways sally totally didn't care that Jacob was allergic to chocolate so she took him to the chocolate factory and they ate a bunch of chocolate and then they got married but Edward showed up and he crashed the wedding and then sally was like Edward I wish that you didn't do that and Edward's like I didn't and then Edward woke up from one of those dream sequences that they have on soap operas cause like those are my favorite as long as everyone else thinks that they're cool but if they don't' then I totally hate them because going along with the crowd is exactly what everyone should do but everyone would rather follow sally cause she is so awesome.

_(beep), (beep), sooo  
your (beep), your (beep) your (beep), is my (beep)  
I (beep) your (beep)…_

Jacob then showed up and was like Edward what are you doing here and Edward was like I don't know Jacob because there was a genius plot twist in there and that like changed everything and now I'm confused but this story is still totally awesome and everyone should review it and talk about how wonderful sally is and all that stuff and then sally was like you are so right Edward and then Edward fellow asleep in a giant cloud and started humming the theme song of some show that everyone likes and then Jacob went over to sally and he's like Jacob I still have to tell you my secret and Sally's like okay Jacob but I thought you already told me it when we were on the rollercoaster and he's like no there is something else that you should know and sally's like what Jacob what should I know that you haven't told me in the last eleven paragraphs and he's like it's about you and sally froze because like she was in a lot of shock and didn't really know what to think about what Jacob was going to say and then Jacobs like sally are you alright and sally's like yeah I'm okay Jacob now what is it that you were going to tell me and Jacob's like sally I really need to tell you this you're love is my drug.

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**Author's Note:** Wow! I bet you guys never saw that one coming!

Anyways, that's chapter three, I hope you all enjoyed this lovely song fic as much as sally did. Now I know there have been a lot of complaints about people don't praising sally enough but don't worry I'll be sure to fix that in the next few chapters!

Until next time, mrsEdwoodcolongrl is out! So you better read and review this awesome story! Come on, press that button!


	4. The Love in Your Eyes

Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I last updated the greatest fanfiction ever, but don't worry, I'll be sure to update this story more often! After all, it does have sally in it and sally is the absolute bestest character that ever lived!

Anyways, I'm glad you guys all loved my song fic (I mean, why wouldn't you? It was written by me), and I know that you are all going to love chapter four because it has sally in it, so what are you waiting for? Aren't you going to continue reading this awesome fanfiction? Then go right ahead!

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_Chapter Four: The Love in Your Eyes_

Sally could not believe what Jacob just told her my love is his drug sally thought what is that supposed to me does that mean that he likes me but sally didn't have a lot of time to think about it because right then Edward showed up and demanded that Jacob make him a sandwich filled with the secrets of the universe and Jacob couldn't pass that opportunity up now couldn't he sally thought then she was laughing because thought bubbles don't usually last that long in cartoons but this isn't a cartoon but sometimes people think that it is because it doesn't sound that realistic even though it is and they are all really jealous of sally because she's awesome and they think that it's a crime for a person that good to exist but hey if it was a crime I would've been like arrested five thousand times by now you know what I'm saying and of course everyone knew what sally was saying but not like that cause that's gross peepz like sally definitely doesn't have problems unlike everything else in the world and sally's going to run for president and go to law school and become a doctor and join the circus all before she turns one and that isn't even a joke people so don't try to kid with me or else I will get mad and nobody wants to me sally get mad right so don't even joke about that!

Anyways, I can't remember what was happening in the story so I'm going to have to reread the first paragraph of this chapter to figure out what happened okay so then sally was getting really annoyed because Jacob didn't even bother to put mayonnaise and edward's sandwich and we all know how Edward feels about mayonnaise (see chapter three if you don't get what I'm talking about wink wink) and then sally was like hello guys why aren't you paying attention to the greatest person in the world ever and they are like oh sorry sally we didn't know that you were here or else we totally would've made you a sandwich but then sallys like I don't want your sandwich Edward cause it doesn't have bran flakes in it and then edward's like really and sally's like really and Edwards like are you sure and sallys like no I'm not sure Edward I just made the whole thing up and the whole last paragraph was just another dream sequence and that was like totally awesome but then sally didn't feel like doing anything right now and she really didn't really feel like eating a sandwich but she like totally didn't want to hurt Edward or Jacobs feelings because that would be so uncool and sally definitely isn't uncool she's like the coolest person ever then she like took a bunch of pictures of herself with Edward and Jacob pretending to have fun with random people on the street and posted them on the internet so everyone knows who's the most popular person in the world cause like she totally is and don't you guys wish you were as awesome as sally? Of course!

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**Author's Note:** Well that's the end of chapter four! Isn't this story amazing? Everyone loves sally!

Anyways, this is the first of many more posts by Edward Cullen's wife so you better send more awesome reviews because sally said so, and whatever sally says is always right! You know it! So R&R peepz, come on! Press that button!


	5. The Fallen Tears of the Black Feather

Hey guys! I'm back? Didn't you miss sally? I sure did!

Anyways, sallys gotten some comments about punctuation and sally wants everyone to know that she is very punctual, so thanks for being so concerned about the most awesomest and originalist character ever!

Just to reward you guys for loving sally so much, I thought I would post a little bit early this week. Enjoy!

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_Chapter Five: The Fallen Tears of the Black Feather_

Sally woke up the next day feeling awesome because she just remembered that shes sally and shes the most awesomest person in the universe yay and anyways sally got out of bed and went over to see her two favorite people sally and sally -(wow, I bet you guys thought I was going to say Edward and Jacob, but they totally don't matter anymore, this story should be all about sally after all!) then sally decided that she wanted to go outside and frolic in the meadows but then she ran into Edward and hes like sally what are you doing don't be reckless and sallys like I'm not reckless Edward you can't tell me what to do and Edwards like yes I can sally and shes like why and hes like because I am Edward Cullen and I like furry kittens that's why and I gasped cause I definitely didn't see that one coming and that's really awesome cause I'm the author of this lovely story and I'm married to Edward Cullen in case you forgot about that or I forgot to mention it but I probably didn't because I never forget anything ever ever never ever never ever ever NEVER!

It got dark outside and sally because to feel cold because it was cold outside but I never said that it was cold outside but that's because its kind of assumed in a story that if its dark its cold and people are just like I didn't know that and I was just like well now you do and then sally was like hey isn't this my story and I was like oh yeah I guess it is and sally was like okay and then she started dancing and then it started to rain because rain is full of symbolism and that is the best instrument ever and sally plays every single instrument in case you didn't know that because she is totally awesome and apparently black feathers cry tears and stuff cause it's the title of the chapter but shh I don't want anyone knowing that because its totally secret and it's a plot twist and sometimes people can't handle plot twists but sally totally can and I don't know what you're talking about sally definitely didn't cause the world to explore yesterday because she's so entirely and amazing sally and who wouldn't want to be her? No one, that's who! SALLY! Screamed Edward.

Sally reached the tallest tree in the forest and ran into a black bird and black bird started singing a tune about how amazing sally is and then a black feather fell off of the bird and Edward started crying because that's symbolism and that's really all that I feel like explaining in this story for chapter five so know I'm just going to be talking about how amazing sally is for the next seven sentences and I know that you totally cant wait also bellas still dead in case you have forgotten and bellas totally jealous of sally because everyone loves sally including all of the people that hate sally but those people don't even exist so why should I even bother mentioning them if they don't even care about sally and oh yeah that is now a crime that is punishable by law its also printable by number seventy-seven black ink in case you don't know what that is then ask Jacob because he totally hasn't appeared since chapter four and sallys love is still his drug and like thats my favorite song ever cause sally said so and sally is so amazing, don't you wish that you were still her?

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Author's Note:

What did I tell you? Didn't this chapter rock? Isn't sally absolutely amazing? Shouldn't you guys be giving me a grammy for this?

Well, that's chapter five so you guys better review it cause it took my five hours to write it and seven to edit it and now I'm tired. So review this wonderful masterpiece peepz, R&R. Come on, press that button!


	6. Love's Forbidden Fruit

OMG Sally is back! Like I know I'm back because I'm like totally awesome, and who would think differently? Anyways, I am back ya'll and I know that all of you missed sally and me SO much! Cause we're like SO totally awesome, and you definitely heard that from me. ; D

I know all of you have been complaining about the "lack of romance" in this romance fic, so I wrote this chapter last night to make it all up to you guys. It stars sally (like duh) and Edward and Jacob because they all like totally love her and hate Bella (who is still dead btw).

So here it is chapter six! Drum roll please!

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_Chapter Six: Love's Forbidden Fruit_

Sally couldn't remember the last time she felt this way. She never imagined that it would happen to her; that Edward and Jacob would both fall madly in love with her and fight for her love. She was like Bella, only alive and she was happy, very very happy.

She still remembered the words that Edward whispered in her ear and the tears that Jacob cried when he found out that sally could never be with him, it was forbidden love. It was love's forbidden fruit and sally was the one they couldn't touch. They couldn't have her because she was too awesome, and everybody loved her.

Sally was standing in the meadow when it happened, when she heard Edward call out her name. "Sally!" Edward called, cause that's her name. Sally turned around to face him, but she could not for she was far too beautiful and perfect to be seen. Edward understood that, he understood the truth and sally understood that he understood, but Bella she would never understand. Probably because she's dead, but you didn't hear that from Sally.

There was someone else in the garden; someone else in sally's dream and she couldn't quite make out his figure. "Sally!" he called out. Sally screamed and turned around, coming face-to-face with Jacob Black, the guy that everyone loves but he only loves her, so tough luck everyone else.

Jacob approaches sally and kissed her, but then sally had to punch him in the face because she already has a husband and he's one of them. Then sally lie down in the garden and sang to herself and it was beautiful because sally is beautiful, and beautiful is sally.

It had been hours since the rain had started, the symbolism was amazing. Edward lie down next to sally and looked her in the eyes; his body sparkling. "Sally," he said, "You are so beautiful." And then sally giggled because it was true and Edward always knew just the right thing to say.

It was then when the world stopped, when sally found herself with the two people that she loved almost as much as her. She couldn't decide who she wanted to be with, Edward or Jacob, Black or Cullen, Grapefruit or Kumquat. But no matter what happened, sally promised herself that she would never be like Bella, she would never be emotionless and dead, no matter what happened to her. And sally kept that promise forever, because she wanted to. She needed to.

Days past by and more and more people came to see sally, to see her smile and shine like the sun. sally wanted to touch the sun, but she could not. Every day she cried wishing that she could somehow become the sun and never grow old and ugly, but it never happened and that made sally cry even harder.

She cried until she filled the oceans and the oceans thanked her because her tears were so wonderful and sally told them you're welcome because no one could do it quite like her. Edward and Jacob both agreed, so it must be true, and indeed it was.

"Can you feel it?" Jacob said with arm around the most amazing person in the universe, "Can you feel how awesome you are?" Sally nodded and understood exactly what he was talking about. Sally was amazing, why didn't everyone see that?

It was then when her heart broke, when she saw Edward making out with a lamp next to her. Sally screamed and shoved Edward on the ground, then attacked the lamp and started biting it with her new vampire teeth. Then sally realized that she wasn't a vampire and that she had the power to save Christmas all along, and she was happy. Sally was happy as she finished eating that big piece of metal that used to be Edward's other girlfriend. That's what happens when you try to mess with sally, she'll attack you so fast that you'll never know what hit you.

Sally knew that they never would know, and made her happy. This was her world, her life and she could do whatever she wanted with it. So she decided to dance…and that's how sally saved the world.

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**Author's Note:** Well, what do you think? Isn't this story so intense? I was getting the shivers while I was writing this! Isn't sally the greatest character ever?

Anyways, there's chapter six. I know you all loved it, because you all love EdwardxSallyxJacob fics (as known as Edalob fics). So until next time, read and review. Come on, I dare you. Press that button!


	7. The Way You Cry

Yes! Sally's back! Now I know that all of you have been eagerly waiting for me to update this amazing story, so you're in for a treat! It turns out posting multiple chapters in a week is good luck so guess what you're in for? I knew you'd love the good news!

Anyways, since chapter six was such a hit with my fans, I decided to post chapter seven early. Don't worry, you can all thank me by reviewing this unbelievable story. I mean, come on, even Sally would and everyone should try to be more like Sally because she is the single most awesomest personest in the worldest. So like totally, like yeah, like read this or like you'll be so so so so SO sorry you didn't!

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_Chapter Seven: The Way You Cry_

Sally was sitting in the garden thinking about how wonderfully awesome she is when a mysterious creature came out of nowhere and was like sally you are so totally awesome and sallys like I know why didn't you say that earlier do you like hate me or something and then the shadow's like no I love you and sallys like so what everybody loves me and the shadows like no just me and sallys like go away nobody likes you and then the shadows like no cause you killed bella and sallys like I didn't kill bella I just ran her out of town with my beautiful looks and the shadows like really and sallys like really and then sally like totally fell in love with the shadow because no one else was there to adore her at the moment and not adoring sally every single day with every single breathe you take for the rest of your life is like the worst crime and the sallys not even joking because she doesn't joke because awesome people don't joke and sally like invented the word awesome so haha websters!

It wasn't long until the rain came and washed away all of sallys tears but she didn't feel like crying because that would take too many sentences to describe so she just hang around with whoever I mentioned in the first paragraph then wasn't sally because I don't really feel like looking back up at the page to check so yeah use your imagination and stuff cause sallys like I love imagination and you should always do whatever sally says and loves cause shes wonderful. Totally.

Then sally and the shadow walked back to sallys house and the shadows like sally I still love you and then sallys like shadow will you get over it already its been like five minutes since I dumped you and its not my fault that I'm totally beautiful and awesome in every single way possible so don't even kid about that and then the guys like you never dumped me cause we're not going out and then sally cried and the guy felt bad so they went on a date just so sally could dump him and she did and then the shadow dude started to cry and then sally just sat there and watched him cry because the way he cried was so hot and sally definitely needed another boyfriend cause Edward and Jacob had disappeared and bella was still dead just in case you forgot that from the first chapter but you probably didn't because you are completely obsessed with this story and its on your favorites list and you eagerly wait for the days when I update because you want to see what happens to your favorite character in the whole universe and sally is definitely a fav even ask bella oh wait she's dead. Oh well.

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Author's Note:

So what did you think? Isn't sally the best character ever? Aren't you happy that I'm going to keep on writing this story until fanfiction won't let me post any more chapters because this story is too awesome? Of course you are!

Well, there's chapter seven and I know that you guys want to review this chapter so go ahead, press that button! Sally's waiting! ; D


	8. Sally, Kiss My Face

Hey peeps, guess what? The greatest person in the universe is BACK! - (in case you have all forgotten who that is, it's me and sally, cause sally is awesome and I'm like awesome YAH!)

Anywayz, on to the story, we left off at a cliffhanger (cause sally thought that I should) and like sally was watching the dude that has a crush on her cry. The way he cried was so touching, in case you missed that part but you probably didn't.

Now you're probably wondering what happened to Edward and Jacob, well sally doesn't exactly know the answer to that question. Okay, just kidding, she does but she doesn't want me to tell you because she doesn't think that you guys can handle it and sally knows what people can handle and what they can't because she's sally and all.

Well, I don't want to keep you guys deprived from sally any longer, so here's chapter eight!

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_Chapter Eight: Sally, Kiss My Face_

Sally was beginning to feel lightheaded after that cool dude finished crying but she didn't know what to do because Edward and Jacob weren't there and sally was beginning to get worried because she didn't even want to think about what would happen if the most awesome person in the universe had something wrong with her but luckily she didn't have to because the cool dude snapped her out of it and sally began to feel so much better which was a good thing because she's the only real character in this story but I probably shouldn't have told you that anyway the guy came over to sally and was like sally you are so awesome and I like totally love you and I have a cool accent so you should totally love me too cause I like peanuts but then sally was like I don't like peanuts because they don't taste very good and then everyone in the whole universe said that they didn't like peanuts either and they got rid of all of the peanuts because sally hated them and she can like change the world in five seconds just you wait and see.

The guy walked sally into the forest and took her hands and he was like I love you sally and sally was like what do you even by that and the guys like that I love you and you are like the most awesome person in the universe and then sallys like how pretty am I and the guys like very pretty way prettier than bella ever was even when she was still alive and sally totally agreed with that because she is really pretty and everything and the guy was like yeah you are really pretty and sally was like of course I am because if I wasn't then the entire world would explode and then the guys like sally kiss my face and sallys like why did you say that and the guy's like because that's the name of the chapter and sallys like quit reading the names of the chapters cause it takes away the power of sallys awesomeness and the guys like nothing could take away your awesomeness and then sally squealed and kissed the dude's face cause he was so right and he never cheated on her with a lamp like Edward also sally doesn't think that he has rabies which took Jacob out of the picture.

It was then were Edward walked in and began to scream he turns to sally and is like sally how could you and sallys like oh Edward please you know that I love you too besides you're not really hear right now cause you're having another dream sequence but just you cause I said so and then edward's like okay and sallys like don't be okay with things that aren't certified by sally to be okay and Edwards like gotcha and sallys like don't even get me started Edward but he never learned his lesson but that's okay because they are both going to live forever anyway and sally was really looked forward to lightening up people's lives for the rest of her days cause no one can do it like sally and if you think you can then you must be sally because only she can think awesome thoughts.

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**Author's Note:** Wow! I bet you didn't see that one coming did you? How did you like the reference to the chapter title? Am I not the greatest writer ever? That takes skills man!

Well that's chapter eight and I hope that all of you go ahead and review & fav this awesome fanfiction. So what are you waiting for? Press that button! Sally knows you want to, and everyone loves Sally! ; D


	9. Love Me Forever, Need Me Always

An apple a day keeps Bella away but not Sally!

So I bet you guys are all super excited that I'm posting loads of new chapters this week and to tell you the truth, I am too! I was going to see what Sally thought about this but she ran into some problems with Bella:

**Bella – Sally, why did you kill me off?**

**Sally – I totally didn't kill you off Bella, you were already dead to begin with.**

**Bella – Well fix it! And quit stealing Edward away from me!**

**Sally – I can't help it if he likes me better!**

**Bella – He does not!**

**Sally – Does too!**

**Bella – Does not!**

**Sally – Does too!**

**Bella – Okay fine, but it's only because you're so much more beautiful than me!**

**Sally – Well, isn't that obvious? - (A/N: I totally owned Bella right there.)**

Anyways, while Sally is telling the world how right she is, here's chapter nine!

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_Chapter Nine: Love Me Forever, Need Me Always_

Edward Cullen was standing in front of a microphone with a brick wall behind him. He glared into the spotlight that was blinding him in the distance. Edward turned to the audience seated in front of him and leaned into the microphone.

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen," he spoke before giving the audience an omgicantbelieveyoudidthat look, "And today I'm going to be reading a poem about my life. It's called 'I Love You, But I Don't Exist' by Edward Cullen."

Edward paused and took a deep breath, he smiled and waved to Sally in the front row before continuing, "_I love you, but I don't exist..._

_Every day I bleed and my tears taste like fresh blood_

_But I don't exist, so it doesn't matter_

_My name is Edward Cullen_

_And I cry at the moon that looks so delicious_

_The moon just screams at me_

_Like a thousand pointy needles_

_Oh that's deep,_

_That is so deep_

_Then I ate myself and tasted like sadness_

_And I cried until my nose bled_

_And then I wished I had toes _

_So that I could feel the pain_

_But I don't exist_

_So I guess it doesn't even matter_

_And this whole poem_

_Was completely pointless_

_Love, Edward."_

Edward stepped away from the microphone dramatically while the entire audience stood up and began to cheer; Edward took a bow. "Thank you, thank you, I'm glad you all loved my poem."

The audience stopped clapping and stared at him strangely, one of the audience members spoke, "We're not cheering for your poem!"

"You're not?" Edward asked eyeing the person in the fifth row, "Then what are you cheering for?"

"Sally, duh!" the audience member replied, "I mean, she is the most awesome person in the universe!"

Everyone cheered as Sally stood up from out of her seat and waved to them, Edward looked at her; his eyes shining with awesome shininess.

"You're right," Edward said, "Sally is the most awesome person ever!"

Then Edward walked over to Sally and proposed to her and she totally said yes even though she was already married to him, Jacob and the evil guy. Then everyone cheered and it began to rain inside of the coffeehouse because rain is extremely symbolic, and Sally is extremely awesome, don't you think?

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**Author's Note: **Well there you have it, one of the most awesome chapters yet! Sally can't wait until you all get to read the rest of her fanfiction, but we have a long ways to go… ; D

While you're at it, you should totally leave Sally a review to tell her how awesome she is. What are you waiting for? Press that button, you know you want to!


	10. Edward Sheds His Sparkles

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"**No way! You can't be posting this early! YOU CAN'T BE!"**

Well haha whoever said that (probably bella) cause sally is BACK! Now, I know that a lot of you have been wanting more chapters about sally and I don't blame you, I mean she is a pretty amazing character if I do say so myself. But don't worry, because these next few chapters will be ALL ABOUT HER!

Anywayz, I know it's been a while since I last posted (like five days, which is a tragedy in my book), but I'll be sure to post twice as many times this week so everyone will get to read the most amazing story in the universe! Don't you just love me?

Well you're about to love me even more cause here's chapter ten! *heart*

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_Chapter Ten: Edward Sheds His Sparkles_

Edward had just finished his poem when Sally ran over to him from the distance and hugged him she couldn't believe that Edward would write and perform that amazing poem just for her and non other girl and she was right he totally wouldn't do it for another girl because those teenaged fangirls can be a little too crazy sometimes if you know what I mean and sally totally knows what I mean but you definitely don't know what I mean because you're not sally and that's totally a crime anyways sally was like Edward why did you do that for me and Edwards like well isn't it obvious sally and sally's like no because it if were obvious than sally would've totally known that and I like didn't and then Edwards like oh right I'm sorry sally you are really amazing and sallys like totally and then Jacob showed up and started dancing with sally and Edward got jealous so he decided to take off his shirt and shed his sparkles and he did and then he grew even more sparkles and they all spelled out sally on his chest and sally thought that was totally amazing but then Jacob got jealous and got a tattoo on his arm that said sally and sally thought that was amazing as well oh no sally thought what do I do now?

Luckily sally didn't have to worry about worrying about whether she should worry about what Edward and Jacob were worrying about or whether edward and Jacob were worrying about the same thing that sally was worrying about but she definitely didn't want bella to worry about the same thing that Edward was worrying about and Jacob was worrying about and she definitely didn't want bella to have to worry about the same thing as sally was worrying about because that would mean that bella would be in their clique and she totally couldn't be in their clique cause like eww sally couldn't believe what she was wearing and it wasn't even designer or every girl needs her vampire and that's the thing that sally ever wears and all the cool people wear even so take that other stores sally is boss! : P

Then the evil guy shoed up and showed sally his awesome new bracelet that had her name engraved on it and sally thought that was the most incredible thing ever so she decided to ditch Edward and Jacob and go out with the evil guy instead but then bella showed up and was like totally angry at sally and seeking revenge but sally was standing there all cool and stuff and she was like bella what are you doing and bella was like I am seeking revenge and sallys like yeah right like that's going to make a difference and guess what it didn't because sally is way better than bella and she can outsmart her everyday of the week and she did just then and bella was like no and then she melted cause sally threw a bucket of water on her and no that's totally not the ending stolen from another movie cause sally doesn't need to steal anything because she is totally awesome in every single way popular and no one not even bella could change that so haha bella sally is still the number one chica in the universe and probably the whole ENTIRE world! ; D

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**Author's Note: **OMG, that was AMAZING. I can't believe that I was able to finish that masterpiece in FIVE hours! Am I not the greatest person ever?

Well that's it. There's chapter ten for you. I hope you all enjoyed this wonderful chapter about sally as much as sally sure did! Want to thank me for the awesomeness? Then go ahead and review Love's Forbidden Fruit. Come on, I dare you! Press that BUTTON! ; D


	11. Don't Speak, Because You Smell

YES! It's time for the SECOND update of the week! Now I know that you're all so excited that I'm posting today and frankly, I can't blame you. After all, Sally is the most awesome person in the universe! And I think Edward and Jacob TOTALLY agree with me!

Anyways, we left off in the story where Edward shed his sparkles and bella meleted cause she was evil. (Meleted is a CUTE mix between melted and deleted). Isn't this story so exciting? You never know what's going to happen next!

Well that's my AMAZING story update, so here's chapter eleven!

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_Chapter Eleven: Don't Speak, Because You Smell_

Bella had just meleted and Edward went over to sally and showed her how his sparkles disappeared then he started to cry and sally was like OMG don't cry Edward cause the most awesomest person in the universe is here and Edwards like okay sally I won't cry and sallys like good cause here comes Jacob and because sally is always right Jacob appeared out of nowhere and walked in slow motion over to them and it was totally awesome because Jacob is awesome and Edward is too but not bella cause shes dead and sally is even more awesome than all three of them but you probably already knew that but I was just checking geez don't blame me for trying peepz!

Anyways, then the evil guy showed up and demanded to know where sally was but the king dude that I just made up so that this particular sentence makes sense in the story showed up and was like you cant take sally away from me and like started fighting the evil guy for her heart and sally thought that it was so cute but then Edward and Jacob got jealous and tried to fight with them too and sally thought that was so hot with two ts but I'm too lazy to write to ts cause that would require me having to go through spell check and you know how big of a jerk spell check can be cause it doesn't even think that sally is a word and I'm like oh no you didn't and spell check was like yeah I did sally and that was like totally relevant to the story I mean what are you talking about I'm not crazy OKAY?

Sally was watching all of those guys fight for her heart when she noticed a clown lying face down on the beach so she like ran over to him and asked him what was wrong he struggled to tell her but sally was like no no don't speak and then she sniffed him and we really smelled and not the good kind of smell like sally but the moderate kind of smell like Edward and Jacob and that guy that sometimes gives me free nachos on Thursdays those are good by the way in case you were wondering and sally was totally wondering and Edward and Jacob were wondering to but bella she wasn't wondering because shes dead like how many times do I have to tell you guys that I thought you already read the previous chapters of the story or maybe you are just one of those people who only reads chapters with strange titles which would explain why chapter eight is so popular like DUH!

After sally helped the clown off of the ground he went over to meet the other four who were still fighting for her love the clown turned to sally asked what they were doing and sallys like they are totally fighting for my love and the clown thought that was wonderful so he joined in to and soon everyone on the beach was fighting for sallys love even the guy that hands out the towels and that dude who cleans the toilets I heard hes free on Saturdays just so you know and sally totally knew that but you didn't until I told you but that's okay sally still likes you unless you are bella and bellas like what the heck sally and sallys like don't mind me bella I am just the most awesomest person in the universe and then everyone nodded in agree because its good to give in to peer pressure and agree with what everyone else is doing and that's now sally taught the world to love again.

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**Author's Note: **WHOA! I cannot believe that I wrote eleven chapters of this masterpiece and I'm not even warmed up yet! Isn't sally amazing?

Well there's chapter eleven, I would write more but Edward and I are going out to make fun of bella right now, so I'll just save the excitement for another day! I know you're so excited!

Want to thank me for awesome this story is? R&R peepz, go ahead! Press that button! ; D


	12. Haiku You Sally!

BWAHAHAHAHA! The world has been waiting patiently for sally's return and they won't have to wait any longer…JUST KIDDING! _*elevator music plays*_

Anywayzzz, I know that y'all have been crying nonstop (for 5 months) begging for this masterpiece to be updated so THIS IS IT! Chapter Twelve of Love's Forbidden Fruit has returned! But first a message from our sponsors…

…**SALLY IS AWESOME!**

Here it is! Chapter Twelve, so full of amazingness and sally! I know you'll love it now peepz! *heart*

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_Chapter Twelve: Haiku you Sally! -(Do you nawt LUV the Pokemon reference hehe?)_

Sally is perfect

Edward Cullen's everything

Beautiful, amazing

Bella is very dead

She is upset that she has

No live head

These are all

The boys that love sally:

Edward, Jacob

The evil guy,

King Dude, the scary Clown

Mount Rushmore

You love sally

There's no denying it's true

Sally doesn't love you

Cuteness is sally

Sally is so super cute but

Bella isn't boo-hoo

Sally loves chapter

Twelve, but one through eleven

Love her more

Sally hopes you

Review this masterpiece

And make her happy

Cause Sally knows everything…

…and everything knows…**SALLY CULLEN!**

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**Author's Note: **OMG-what a finish! I didn't see that one coming did you? Sally did, but she's sally so she sees EVERYTHING!

Well there you have it, Chapter Twelve of this wonderful first story. Be sure to check out my other fics, cause it would be a shame if you didn't cause they are all works of genius as well!

Until next time, R&R and give Sally some LOVE! *heart*heart*lungs* Come on, press that button! ;D


	13. The Struggle For All Existence

Hey guyzzzzzzz, GUESS who is BACK? SALLY! I know you guys are so excited, cause sally is really excited for you guys to read chapter thirteen of her stunning story "Love's Forbidden Fruit"-it's almost as stunning as sally!

Now I know what you're thinking: _"Thirteen is an unlucky number and sally is the luckiest girl in the universe so there shouldn't be a chapter thirteen."_ Well, that's too bad cause chapter thirteen is the greatest chapter in this story yet! But don't worry everyone, sally is so awesome that her beautifulness changed thirteen into the luckiest number in the universe, so now if something awesome happens to you on the thirteenth you have her to thank! Isn't Sally amazing? YES!

Before I start talking to bella again, you better read chapter thirteen-the new lucky number! Come on, you know you want to! ;D

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_Chapter Thirteen: The Struggle For All Existence_

Sally was standing on the edge of the cliff watching the four guys fight for her heart her eyes burned with passion as she watched Edward punch Jacob in the face and Jacob punch Edward back and she was like so happy when the scary clown and the evil guy were fighting for her love she was like so totally happy right then and there until bella showed up and she was back from the dead Sally couldn't believe it cause she was like 100% sure that bella was dead but then there she was standing in front of sally her foot tapping in irritation and sally couldn't take it anymore and then she realized that she's sally so whatever she says turns out to be reality so she turns to bella and is like bella you are dead and bella is like oh yeah and she re-buried herself in the dirt and sally danced on her grave cause this was like the best day of her life EVER and we all know that the best day of sally's life is DEFINITELY the best day of everyone else's life right everyone asks sally and all four of the guys stop fighting for five seconds to nod their heads yes isn't it great to be sally? - LIKE YEAH!

Anyways sally was there standing on the cliff looking out at the sunlight with all of this symbolism and rain and crap and then her eyes begin to burn as she began to cry but then she realized that she was a vampire so she couldn't cry and she started to sparkle pretty colors like Edward Cullen or should I say Edwood Colon cause he changed his name just for sally and not for any other girl cause he hates every other girl that isn't sally and he only has eyes for sally and if you flame this story than you are obviously just jealous of sally's awesome amazingness but don't worry it's not your fault that she's everything you want to be and nothing that you don't want to be so hahahahaha cause sally is a symbol for everything cool and sally was totally cool -and that was totally not a typo that occurred while I was leaning on the keyboard of sallys laptop searching in my backpack for something cool like a television remote during one of sallys hott courses about how to praise sally for her brilliance, you want to go to one it's only twelve hundred hard payments of $167.55 - OMG that is like NOTHING I WANT ONE! Well too bad bella, cause you can't. So there. : P

Two hours past by and sally found herself in the exact same situation standing on the cliff mountain thingy looking at the orange barf-colored sunset surrounded by many of adoring fans who were throwing roses at her trying to get her to look their way for a second but she didn't feel like it hearing the four guys fight over her in the background but then she looked up and saw a different guy and he's like sally you have to go and save the entire universe now and sally's like no way that's like huge and who will comb my hair when I'm there and the guy's like don't worry sally I will and then every other person in the world ran over to sally and started jumping around saying that they wanted to comb her shiny immortal hair and she was like okay but you have to form a line behind me and they all did because it's sally and they would do anything for her and we all know that that is the mostest truest Tuesday-ish thing in the world TOTALLY!

After all of those people were done combing sallys hair the guy came up to her and told sally that she needs to go and fight for all existence and sallys like no I have to struggle for all existence and the guy is like why and sallys like because that is the title of this chapter and the guy is like oh sally you know everything and shes like yeah isn't it great and guess what? It was the greatest thing in the world next to sally cause no one is better than sally, GOT IT?

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**Author's Note:** Well there you have it chapter thirteen of this fabulous little story that I like to call "Love's Forbidden Fruit." Can you believe that I only have eighty-seven chapters of this story to go? I can't either!

So until next time peepz, remember to read & review cause sally would like totally like that, I even asked her and she's like "Totally!" Come on, I dare you…press that button! ;D


	14. I Love You Sally Hawkins

Sally-sally-sally-sally-sally-sally-SALLY!

**Hey GuyZ, guess who's back?**

_Sally's POV:_

**Sally obviously! I mean, didn't you get the dets?** (pause) – **You didn't?**

**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Those are Sally's super SUPER super duper white teeth!**

Anywayz guyz, I'm jk-ing. Chapter Fourteen is gonna be AWESOME cause SALLY is IN it! Can I get a yeah?

**_Yeah!_**

Can I get another yeah?

**_Yeah!_**

Can I get a Sally is awesome?

**_Sally is awesome!_**

Yeah, that's what I thought. ; D

And now it's time for something new for this story. Instead of jumping right into chapter fourteen, Sally's going to respond to all of your AMAZING reviews and answer all of your questions first! Isn't this the best time day of your very young lives? Well obvi0usLy. Okay, bring on reviewers numbers one through seven!

**Twi-fic luver – Yeah, Sally knows that it's wow and that this story is AMAZING! Thanks for your concern about Sally, she really appreciates it. *heart***

**Cleo4ever44 – Thanks for the awesome review Cleo, this story is WOW. Did you know that twi-fic luver said the exact same thing? What are the odds? Sally says it's one in a million! *heart***

**BritneyCullen – Sally is TOTALLY serious Britney, I mean, couldn't you tell how amazing she is based on her character in this AWESOME story? Also sally notices that you have the same last name as her husband Edward Cullen, are you a long lost relative? *heart***

**Porpoise-song – Sally thinks that you must've misread the genre of the story, cause is CLEARLY a romance fic, and not a tragedy, but thanks for your request for a sequel! *heart***

**Suki-yanen – Yes, Sally has heard of punctuation. They're like best friends on Wednesdays, (but sometimes she can be kind of a jerk on Thursdays if you know what sally means and of course you do cause EVERYONE knows what Sally means all the time!) *heart***

**Johanna – Hey Johanna! You're Sally's first anonymous reviewer and you should be proud of it! Now, like porpoise-song, I think you've misread the genre of the story. It's clearly a Romance and not a Humor, but it's an honest mistake. And you're right, Sally should definitely tell more jokes and have even more lines in the story. Thanks for the review! 3**

**Rhianna259 – Wow Rhianna, thanks for telling bella that she F.A.I.L.S., I mean she's been getting kind of egocentric lately and sally absolutely hates people like that. Also, I think I'll post another chapter just for you, cause you drove bella away from Sally for a while. Thanks Girl! *heart***

Well, there you go. Sally answered all your questions. Be sure to tune in for the next chapter where sally will be responding to her next seven reviews, mark your calendars cause you wouldn't want to miss that now, would you?

Now without further ado, here's Chapter Fourteen of Love's Forbidden Fruit!

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_Chapter Fourteen: I Love You Sally Hawkins_ -who the heck is Sally Hawkins? Oh wait, (realization) hehe!

Sally was still standing on the mountain where the old dude from chapter thirteen sent her after everyone got a chance to comb out her hair sally decided that she would finally do it she would finally save the world -(well it's about time peepz!)

Anywayz sally was standing on the when Edward and Jacob raced over to her and Jacob was like sally what are you doing and sally was like nothing Jacob nothing but fighting and struggling for all existence and Jacob is like no don't do that sally and sallys like why not and Jacobs like because I love you sally Hawkins and sallys like who the heck is that and then everyone laughs cause they no its all a joke and then Edward starts professing his love for sally and he gives her this really sweet note and sally looks down at it and is like that's great but next time watch your spelling and grammar cause I want to post this online for the world to see and I don't want your bad spelling making me look bad okay then Jacob came over and handed sally his toenail collection and sally turns to him and is like why did you give this to me Jacob and Jacobs like because it has magic powers and can help you on your journey and sallys like journey who am I harry potter and then everyone laughed and laughed because who is this harry potter guy anyway well whoever he is he sure isn't better than sally!

Sally then took a candle out of her pocket lit it and blew it out she did that eleven more times and then Jacobs like why are you doing that and sallys like because its full of symbolism and Edwards like no its not and sallys like yes it is so Edward and the whole rest of the world changed their minds cause sally is right and she always will be right got it peepz and then everyone agreed to that because everything knows not to mess with sally cause shes amazing and the best thing that ever happened to anyone ever and if you don't think that then your obviously just jealous of her like you should be then the scary clown dude came up to sally along with the evil guy from chapter five and hes like sally kiss my face and sallys like eww guy whos name isn't as great as mine that was so chapter eight and he's like oh yeah I forgot cause you're just so beautiful and sally blushed cause she can do that and she looked even hotter when she blushed as if that's even possible cause shes already a 10 on everyone's hotness scale just like sally Hawkins!

Sally stood on the edge of the cliff which was a mountain but is now a cliff because sally says that is it for this part of the story and whatever sally says goes and she standing by the river looking out at the flying spaceship with her head to the clouds then Edward goes over to her and is like sally my love what are you doing out here and sallys like nothing Edward im just looking out at the sunset that is conveniently occurring at this very moment and Edwards like why are you doing that and sallys like because I'm sally and I can do anything…

And she was right, she is and she can!

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**Author's Note:** Whoa, that was AH-MAZE-ING. Who know that sally would become one of the more influential people of all time? I sure did and that was before I took my medication!

Anywayz, there you go chapter fourteen. Can you believe that this story only has 86 chapters left? I can't!

So until next time read and review this masterpiece, feel free to ask sally a question if you want she would LOVE to answer it in a future chapter of this story! So what are you waiting for? Come on! Press that BUTTON! : D : D : D


	15. Soul Fire of Hot Passion

HEY GUYS! Sally's HERE! I just wanted to give a little SHOUT-OUT to my knew BF Mikey! He's so cyoot but not as cute as my AWESOME husband Edwood Colon! OH YEAH!

Anywayz, I was eating some mashed potatoes yesterday when I remembered one of my FAVORITE songs (it's called Sally, Princess of Love, Life & Edward Cullen's Sparks as well as Sally's Real Life & the Technicolor SPARKLES). Anywayz, these AH-MAZE-ING songs made me think of this AH-MAZE-ING story, Love's Forbidden Fruit!

Due to my recentLEE amazing popularity on this site, (well actually it's not recent cause sally was ALWAYS popular, even before she knew about fanfiction-she was BORN THIS WAY!-getz the reference? hehe), sally decided that she needs to post 8 million times faster, cause she has to finish this masterpiece before Edward brings sexy back, which is gonna be in three…two…one…POW!

So yeah chapter fifteen, is like the best chapter ever cause it has a fifteen in it, and also, you peepz should TOTALLY re-read chapter twelve, cause like it feels neglected and sally doesn't like that so you totally should make her happy every single day of her life YOU KNOW?

Anywayz, here's chapter fifteen. Don't hold your breath any longer. P.S. 2 mi BF – LUV U BABEEEEE! ;D ;D ;D

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_Chapter Fifteen: Soul Fire of Hot Passion_

Sally was standing on the mountain looking out at the amazing stars that are like so full of symbolism and all that crap when this totally HOT guy named Tikey -(hey BABEZ, dis is U!) came over to sally and is like hey girl you should totally like marry me cause I'm the hottest person in the entire universe and I'm WAY hotter than Edward Cullen but then Edward's like no sally marry me I can sparkle and everything and even though this would be our fifth wedding of the story I still think that we should get married again and like sally didn't know what to do and this was like such a tragedy cause it was making her makeup smear and she totally didn't want that and she liked Edward but Tikey was SO hot and she couldn't like say no even when Jacob came over with his toenail collection and started to fight the other two for her love and sally that was SO awesome cause everyone should fight for sally's love and sally means EVERYONE.

Anywayz, Tikey ended up like beating Edward and Jacob cause like when he took his shirt off the shininess of his chest caused both of them to go blind with envy and then sallys like oh Tikey you are DEFINITELY the guy for me and she like broke up with Edward and Jacob for him and there was like no looking back EVER and then they got married and like sally was so happy because she was so beautiful (I mean she is SO beautiful, even right now) and sally's hair was like so pretty but like not as pretty as her eyes and her super bright smile and her new five hundred dollar coach purse by coach of course but sally like owns coach so she always gets everything for free because she's so beautiful and amazing and everyone wishes that they were sally oh yeah and she was married to that guy now you know Tikey the greatest person in the universe like YEAH!

Sally was happy cause her new name was now Sally Hawkins-Weasley-Ketchum-Magikrap-Oak-Jonas-Bieber-Beaver-Wesley-Ball Zee-Strong Bad-Squarepants-Fern-Angry Face-Cullen-and whatever Tikey's last name is and she was the MOST HAPPINEST GIRLST in the WORLDST and she was really happy cause no one would ever have more husbands than her NO ONE, YOU GOT IT? SALLY DOES!

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**Author's Note:** Mikey you BIG FAT JERK! How could you break-up with me? Just for that you're really gonna be SORRY! NEVER MESS WITH SALLY EVER OR FACE THE WRATH OF SALLY HAWKINSSSSS! TIKEY'S GONNA GET IT!

Anywayz, now that I chewed out my big worthless ex-BF, you guys should totally review and press that button before I grab a giant ham and smash it through Mikey's bedroom window. - (but you didn't hear that last part from me wink-wink).

So that's it peepz, so R&R and just for the record, don't get used to Tikey's character, cause something tells me that he's going to be having a little accident sometime soon. *evil glare* : )


	16. Sally Meets Good Grammar

HEY PEEPZ IT'S SALLY DID YOU MISS ME? Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I kinda got into some trouble with the police (remember when I told you guys that I was gonna throw a ham through my ex-BF's window?) and I had to pay about 500 dollars in fines cause I broke the fish fountain that was in front of his house - LOSER!

So, I bet you all of you guyz are excited about the next chapter in this AH-MAZE-ING story! Hopefully none of you are big Tikey fans cause I think he's about to get in a little accident hehe.

Wellz, I don't wanna not get you to knot wait anyz longer but maybe I do so here's chapter SIXTEEN! GET EXCITED AND SCREAM AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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_Chapter Sixteen: Sally Meets Good Grammar_

Sally, Edward, Jacob and Tikey were all standing on the top of a mountain doing nothing particularly exciting and Edward turns to them and is like man I'm glad that nothing is going on right then and then all of a sudden they heard a avalanche coming but just kidding it was actually a spaceship and the spaceship came over them and zapped only Tikey turning him to ashes than it flew away like nothing ever happened and sally cheered because she never actually married Tikey because Tikey was a JERK and he definitely deserved to have that ham thrown through his window - (A/N: TAKE THAT YOU LOSER! : P)

Then Edward and Jacob and Sally all went to the divorce office so that sally could officially get divorced from that jerk we call Tikey and sally was kinda sad cause now she only has two husbands to adore her then the clown and the other guy that wasn't appeared since I don't know chapter eight came and they all got married to her and kissed the ground that she walked on and then kissed the ground behind the ground that she walked on because that ground was touching the ground that she walked on and sally was AMAZING and didn't you know that sally was great I mean COME ON PEEPZ OBVIOUSLY.

Oops sally did it again she was better than you and she looked even better than glue and sally is awesome and she's singing this song cause sally is SALLY! (fill in the blank with your own "sally how you want it sally" kk?) tell me sally cause you are the BEST! Yeah, yeah oh YEAH!

So anyway then sally met good grammar and things gots a lil' sticky can I get a yeah? Yeah! Can I get an oh yeah? OH YEAH! SALLY IS AWESOME!

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**Author's Note:** So that's it PEEPZ, CHAPTER SIXTEEN IS UP! And for all of you Tikey fans out there, (jk there are none and why would there be? Tikey's a JERK!) And don't you ever try to call or talk to me again you jerk cause I hate you now and so do everything single one of my fans! (and that's a LOT of people)

Well that's it, isn't sally the greatest? So until next time, R&R peepz, you know you want to! Come on, don't be a loser like my ex-BF Tikey, press that button and tell Sally how AH-MAZE-ING-LEE AWESOME she is YEAH! :D


	17. This is Not a Troll Fic!

HEY BUOYS & GALS!

So yesterday, I received this REALLY stupid review from someone who shall remain anonymous (cough) Mikey (cough) (cough). Anywayz, this incredibly RUDE review went something like this:

_**hey babe, i think what u r doing is unfair yo. i mean what did i really do to deserve this? wutever, ur just bein immature sallistine elizabeth moofaskootsa bomboozle fuzzypants whatever ur last name is. ya ne wayz i start dating ur best friend cuz shes hotter n doesnt sit around all day writing fanfics bout edwood colon n stuff. u r two weeerd for me. for srs.**_

ur x-lover,

mikey

Well Mikey, or should I say my jerky ex-boyfriend, I'll have you know that I already have a totally awesome husband named Edward Cullen and you're just jealous because he's WAY better than you are and we'll NEVER get but together EVER! And in case you think that you can go out with my bff I totally don't even care cause Terri looks like a fish anyway & I don't ever like her! In fact, I make fun fo her behind her back ALL the time and if you don't believe me just look at my blog: mrsedwoodcolongrl . xanga . com

But enough about my jerky ex-boyfriend and my UGH-LEE ex-bff, here's chapter seventeen of Love's Forbidden Fruit because I know that you just can't get enough of this AH-MAZE-ING masterpiece!

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Chapter Seventeen: This is Not a Troll Fic!

Sally had just waved goodbye to good grammar when Edward and Jacob came over to her and were like hey sally theres some idiot girl over there that is trying to get us to go out with her but we totally don't like her cause shes just an immature little drama queen and sally went over to where the girl was cause she wanted to know exactly what she was making fun of and sure enough she saw this loser girl and went over to her and is like hey whats your name and the girls like my named is merri and sallys like merri is such a stupid name and the girls like yeah I know I'm an idiot want to be best friends and saltys like eww no I don't wanna be friends with a loser like you and the girls like okay I'll just be friends with bella then and she became friends with bella but bellas still dead so she was only friends with her smelly lifeless body how embarrassing!

Anywayz then Sally and Edward and Jacob skipped merrily through the meadows or should I say happily cause merrily reminds them too much of that loser girl merri and sally is not going there again and merri reminds sally too much of her loser ex-bff terri and terri picked her nose and ate it in the fourth grade just saying people and then sally and the gang decided that they didn't even want to think or talk about merri anymore cause she wasn't even worth their time and she definitely wasn't worth another sentence of this ahmazeing story so then they went to the park and ate some sandwiches because that's what best friends do and Jacob and Edward and sally were bffs but merri definitely wasn't their bff cause she was a total loser and she definitely deserves all this criticism-OKAY?

All was quiet until the creators of fanfiction came over to sally and were like we're like totally jealous of your story's popularity and we were just wondering if this is a troll fic and sallys like This is Not a Troll Fic! and the creators of fanfiction were like why did you say it like that and sallys like because that is how the chapter title is written and they were like sally you're a genius and sallys like I know and she smiled and blushed cause she's totally modest cause I mean wouldn't you be if you were as awesome as Sally?

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**Author's Note: **Well there it is, chapter seventeen of Love's Forbidden Fruit! Now if you excuse me I have to get my pizza bagel from the toaster so I can put it with the other twenty-seven that I plan on chucking at my ex-bffs house tonight (cause she TOTALLY deserves it).

So until next time peepz, R&R and tell sally how AH-MAZE-ING she is in this story (or just how awesome she is in general). Come on, Sally dares you. Give into peer pressure and PRESS…THAT…BUTTON!


	18. My Missin' Tooth

a/n: uhh…is this thing on? yea so im sally's lil bro ben. sally's sick with some sort of diseese or sumthin. idk, i didn't want to ask. she prolly got it at school. n e ways, she says she'll give me $10 to update her story of sumthin. i guess i could use the money for…idk…candy or gas for my minibike or maybe a new tattoo once i turn 18. man i cant wait to be 18. den i can move out of this house filled with psychos. i mean im too street to live with these peeps. i wanna live in an alley or sumthin so i can get some street cred from mah bros. n e ways i dont read dawn or twilight or moonlight or whatever this series is called so i'm gonna have a pretty hard time writin dis thing but o well i guess i'll try.

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CHAPTER 18: My Missin' Tooth

Yea so I guess Edward and Jacob or whatever were talking to eachother and edward's like, "dude, what's that in your hair?" and jacob's like, "what hair? I don't have hair." And then Edward responds with "yes you do," and Jacob says, "oh yeah, I guess I do."

Suddenly some music starts playin from some source somewhere and some kind of chicken ran across the street and maybe there were some flyin pink elephants n rainbows and crap and a magic elf with big pointy ears. And then some princess was hiding in a tower and there was a singin cupcake and some glitter everywhere. Ok, is this story girly enough? Hmm…maybe I should add a tea party and some frilly dresses.

So n e ways sally comes over and sees that they're talkin about hair and sally goes, "I wanna fight about this on the street, yo, gangsta style" n Jacob n Edward agreed that it wood be a good idea to settle this. N den dere was sum fightin n the police came round to see wut was goin on but den dey left because dese police were kinda apathetic also dey weren't really police, dey there zombie police n dey were just checkin up on the town's zombies but I guess dere were none around so dey didn't have much to do and den there wus fightin n stuff and somebody lost a tooth n den somebody else lost a tooth. The fight ended in da year 6783 n den whoever lived was sent back in time to when da fight started but nobody corrected the time paradox so den dere were about 5000000 of each character fightin one another at da time dat the fight started. Den some aliens showed up n dey were all shaped like teeth n I think I wrote earlier dat somebody lost a tooth so whoever what was put da tooth alien dude in der mouth n used him as a tooth.

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REPRESENTIN DA HOOD! GANGSTA! SUP SUP BRO. WAZZUUP?  
a/n: I hope I get my money now.  
-ben


	19. The Great Divide or Life's Tough Choices

BEN! What did you DO to my FABULOUS STORY? Sally would never entitled one of her chapters My Missin' Toe! Are you completely out of your little stupid MIND? I hope you don't honestly expect me to give you your ten bucks! You don't deserve it after that GARBAGE! AND STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!

Anywayz, do you guys hear that I have an AH-MAZE-ING new poll up? It's on my AWESOME profile page, so you guys should like totally vote on it cause that would make me REALLY REALLY REALLY SILLY HAPPY! HEHEHEHEHE!

Now where did we leave off in this masterpiece? I think sally was just being totally awesome (hehe, it's funny because I said I think instead of I know), I mean until my stupid little brother Ben ruined it! YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS FROM MY PSYCHIATRIST!

So before I make you guys wait any longer here's chappie 9-teen!

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_Chapter Nineteen: The Great Divide or Life's Tough Choices_

So sally Edward and Jacob just woke up from one of those dream sequences cause like ben's chapter never really happened because I thought that maybe he could handle updating this masterpiece but clearly he could not and he's definitely NOT getting his ten dollars that I stole from his own piggy bank to pay an Edward Cullen cutout that I left on my neighbors law so anyways sally was like hey guys want to hear my ten new nicknames and shes like they are little sally poo Sal-Gal saltines sally and like there's other ones but I know that you guys want to hear about sallys adventures so she'll like totally tell you guys later OKAY?

Anyways then sally Edward and Jacob like went other to the great divide and they like faced lifes tough choices a little earlier than expected because this chappie isn't over yet and OMG ben what are doing in my bedroom like don't touch my stuff and aww man I wrote that in the story and theres no time to edit today so anyways what was sally talking about again oh yeah so they came to the great divide and sallys like this is so full of like symbolism and stuff and all that crap that good stories have in it only it had more because this story is even MORE awesome than you peepz can ever express in your heartfelt reviews so remember that or youz gonna be sorry OKAY?

Sally and Edward and Jacob were like sad because chappie 9-teen was about to go chappie bye and that made them like chappie cry because sometimes your stupid little brother RUINS EVERYTHING! So then like we were standing there with like chappie 9-teen in front of us and we like all really sad because like we had to watch chappie 9-teen go down one of those victorious roads in the great divide and Edward and sally and Jacob were all really sad because they knew that they would never see chappie 9-teen again and they all started crying and chappie 9-teen professed his undying love for sally just like every chappie should and then they embraced before they all watched chappie 9-teen walk off into the distance and it was all sad and dramatic and stuff and everyone cried because they knew that they would never see their beloved chappie 9-teen again not Edward or sally or Jacob and definitely not bella cause bella is dead like don't you remember, I mean HONESTLY!

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**Author's Note: **Well? What did you think? Didn't that last part with chappie 9-teen make you cry until you bleed tears of sadness and happiness and sallyness? HUH? DID YOU?

Anyways, you guys like better vote on sally's AWESOME poll and like review this masterpiece cause come on, I mean isn't this AH-MAZE-ING?

So yeah, that's chappie 9-teen. So come on down and review! Come on, Sally knows you want to…PRESS THAT BUTTON!


	20. The End

Oh chappie 9-teen where have you gone? Sally misses you like SO MUCH! It seems like years since I spent five whole minutes of my very successful and popular life writing you. I MISS YOU!

Anyways, hey peepz, it's been a while since I updated, but I can't help it that I'm SUPER popular and SUPER busy even though my stupid ex-BF Mikey broke up with me. (He's a loser everyone, but you didn't hear that from Sally).

So, before bella wakes up and isn't dead anymore (haha, I crack myself up), here's chapter twenty of this AH-MAZE-ING story Love's Forbidden Fruit! Drum roll please!

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_Chapter Twenty: The End_

Just for the record everyone else's fanfictions are WRONG of course Jacob and Edward only love Sally I mean do you really think that anyone else is PERFECT for them like SALLY is? I don't see any of the other characters eyes changing five different colors based on her mood or making Edward make out with a lamp just to get sally jealous I mean REALLY? And like children and animals LOVE sally and like sally has like every single super power and everyone is in love with her including all of the villains and anyone who disagrees with sally faces a terrible fate usually DEATH or becoming bella which is a fate WORSE than death by the way or being written into one of these stories and being dead and making sally dance on your grave. I mean how could anyone NOT like sally cause like she never gets any complains about her in the review section of this story or anything unlike everyone else so HAHA all you Sally HATERS (but there are none, so I guess I just made a shout-out to nobody-HOW COOL!)

Anyways after sally and Edward and Jacob said goodbye to chappie nineteen sally went into the forest and sang aloud beautifully and in a matter of seconds all of her animals friends come out and started dancing around her and the sun shined down on her and made her look like a princess and then sally got tired of this so she decided to pick up a guitar and in like five minutes she was already an expert at it and she was really good at guitar so like nobody had to teach her and she just has a natural ability to be good at anything and then this really famous band asked her to be the lead guitarist and singer and she was and sally was amazing and she became a superstar but she was already world famous but she became even more famous and people threw money at her and then she woke up and realized that it was a dream but then people threw money at her and she was like really happy because she was still rich and famous and people loved her for absolutely no reason at all cause sally is AMAZING AT EVERYTHING and everyone is jealous especially bella, who's still dead by the way and all of the those people who have their own characters that think that they're better than sallky but seriously aren't and also Tikey and Terri-I mean Merri but sally doesn't want to talk about them right now and they're still dead and buried next to bella and every night they have zombie parties and that's really creepy and they talk about I don't know brain or something and that's just CREEPY folks!

Then sally giggled to herself hehehehe because she knew that this wasn't really the end and all the stupid people that went to this chapter thinking that Love's Forbidden Fruit was over would be sadly mistaken, because this story will NEVER end EVER cause sally is AWESOME and AWESOME is SALLY HAWKINS!

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**Author's Note: **WHOA! THAT WAS AWESOME! Can you believe that I only have eighty chappies left of this amazing masterpiece? I can't! But sally can cause you know, she's Sally and she knows EVERYTHING!

Well, that's chapter twenty, so until next time my peepz: Read this AWESOME story, Review this AWESOME story, Fave this AWESOME story, and wish you were as AWESOME as Sally. So come on, I dare you, PRESS THAT BUTTON! Sally out! ; D


	21. Musings

**Love's Forbidden Fruit**_ by mrsEdwoodcolongrl_

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_Chapter 21: Musings_

Can anybody out there tell me what is going on with my daughter Sally? Sometimes I think I don't even know her anymore. She used to be such a sweet, sensible girl but lately she acts like an alien has taken over her mind. She speaks in an odd, halting pattern with a nasal tone as if her nose was stuffed and and refers to herself in the third person. Sally never used to be so vain but now she spends hours in her room getting ready even for the most routine events. She tried on three different sets of clothes yesterday to go outside to get the mail. She used to get along so well with her little brother Ben but lately she can't stand the sight of him. And the people she hangs around with are about ten quarters short of a roll. There's that guy she calls "my Edward" who is so thin and pale. A few days ago he tripped over a comic book Ben left on the floor and bumped his head on the coffee table. He insisted we take him to the hospital for a blood transfusion! When the nurse asked him what his blood type was he said, "All of them and I prefer my blood in a glass with ice!" And then there's that other weirdo Jacoob. He looks like he always needs a haircut and shave; and he wears sandals with socks! What's up with that? When he comes over to visit he never comes inside our house. He prefers to sit outside in our dog house. He makes faces at our dog and growls at him. Sometimes at dinner I get this strange feeling that someone is staring in the kitchen window at us. When I look up at the window his hairy face disappears behind the curtain. When I told Sally she needs to make some new friends who aren't so weird she said, "Mo-therrrr! Every girl needs her vampire!" What does that mean? I hope this is just a phase she is going through. When I think back on some of the guys I used to date in high school I guess these two aren't so bad. That sickly Edward doesn't look like he will survive to adulthood and Jacoob will probably run away if anyone leaves the gate open. I guess I am worrying for nothing. Thanks for listening.

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**Author's Note: **Mother? What did you do to my computer? You are just like Ben! And Sally totally isn't needy and everyone LOVES her friends thank you very much! : P

Ugh, I need to keep my laptop away from my family members. jk heart u guys!

XOXOXOXOX

SaL-GaL


End file.
